What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
