I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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