Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
