Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
