you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
