That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
