When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
