R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
