Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
