hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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