And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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