based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
