okay pat passed out under dana's car
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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