There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
