Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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