Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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