Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
