Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
