dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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