u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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