I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
