Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
