i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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