they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
