Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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