i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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