If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
