I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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