I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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