1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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