sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i came on her dog
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
