Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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