is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
