No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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