You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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