WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
