So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize