$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
