3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
