it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
