worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
