**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
