Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
