My room smells like vodka and shame
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize