so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
