i may or may not be watching the land before time
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The convent might be a nice break from real life
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
