every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
