That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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