Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize