No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
