If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
