apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize