the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
