Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
