just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
