you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
A bitchslap is in order.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
