I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
