just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
