apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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