At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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