just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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