i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
